I have noticed that I crave space. In the times that I am inundated with life, "mama" being called from the other room, the phone, dinner being prepared, lunches packed, toilets scrubbed and business tended to I crave space. I dream of the things I would do if only I had the time and space to do them. I would just sit with a cuppa t and savor the silence. I would lay my yoga mat down and listen to the new tunes calling to me as I flow. I would write in my journal. Paint that painting. Or even focus on one of the million ideas I have for my business, which I love.
But then guess what? All the sudden the noise is silenced, the kids are content, responsibilities put to rest for the moment and I have my opportunity to enjoy my space. The space I have been daydreaming about. And I get lost in it. I fumble around. Act on the first few things that come into mind. And ultimately waste my precious free time being so excited to have it that I can't remember exactly how I wished to spend it. And then I hear "mama" and it is gone. That gift of time and space has dissipated into thin air and I feel like a failure for not embracing it.
So what is that all about? Not being grounded and clear. When I have those open times come forward I notice that my attention and awareness goes through a process of reading what is in my space. What is calling my attention. The small rocks. The socks I need to order on amazon. Or the towels that need to be folded. Or the toggling between websites and getting lost in cyber-space. I start to act on the little things, little thoughts that if I just allowed to pass and not act on, would just keep on floating by. And when they float by, I can then start to be aware of the deeper stuff that feeds my soul.
How can this be done? Meditate. I know that when I find my self wandering through the house or just jumping from whatever catches my attention to the next, I am not grounded. So now when I find I have time, the first thing I do is sit. Sit still. Close my eyes and ground. Become present in the moment. Allow my truth, my deeper knowing and what I want to experience during the gift of time and space to come forward. Connecting to myself allows for my choices and actions to come from a grounded intuitive place. I make conscious decisions of what action I want to make instead of unconscious reactions.
Writing a list helps too. During your day when those things that call to you whisper in your ear, write them down. That way when you have that time, it makes it easy to have a list written of the things calling to you. I don't mean a to do list. I mean a soul fulfilling, sparkle lighting, butterflies in the belly list that feeds your whole being. And it doesn't have to be big stuff. Take a bubble bath, write in your journal, enjoy a cupp a t, listen to music, what ever it is, just act on it. Quickly. Without the hymning and hawing.
I feel fuller. More connected to myself and empowered by the decisions of how I spent my "me" time. And we all need a little "me" time so we can show up as our best selves for others and truly enjoy our experiences with joy, grace and strength