We are living in a series of spotlights. Each spotlight offering definition to aspects of us, giving us form. The spotlight at work, when directly on us, ignites exactly how to perform by illuminating the expectations and demands on us. We know the script, the costume, and when to tilt our head to nod and agree, even when we don’t.

We know how to survive under this spotlight and to a point it defines who we are. It gives shape and life and breath to our human-ness. We all want to belong and these spotlights give way to feel like we belong.

Then there is the relationship spotlight. The one that shines down strong and bright with no place to hide. We learn what is expected, what moves to make, what will keep the peace, what to say to keep safe and to secure our place in that relationship. Again, it validates us.

It defines who we are and shows us how we can contribute and be of value. It gives a container to that part of ourselves. There is even a spotlight for spirituality. What to say, how to act if you are really a spiritually enlightened person, how many yoga classes to go to, to put others first, love no matter what, eat organic and the list goes on.

This spotlight created by society provides a container for us to exist. The external spotlight validates our existence. But what happens when the light bulb breaks. When the external spotlight is no longer there?

What happens to our relationship with self when we lose our job, our kids grow up and move out or our relationship completes? What is our container? How do we know if we exist at all? If we are not witnessed do we exist? Do our thoughts strive to find that spotlight, that external validation, again to escape the pain of having to know ourselves, without the labels, without the written assignments and expectations that we are oh so good at performing?

I have this thought. What if there is another spot light providing an authentic container. A container that offers an infinite supply of love, support, amusement, joy, and validation unconditionally from an internal place within each of us.

We have been taught to please others. That everyone else has our answers. What others think matters most. To take care of self is selfish - in a negative way. To play nice. To dim our lights. To not leave anyone behind, yet to keep up with the race. All of these beliefs fuel the external spotlight, the external validation of existence.

What if we start to claim our unique truth? To follow our hearts desires. To be our own guide and source of information. To care more how we feel about the choices of kindness towards self and others then how people perceive us.

What if we hold our own spotlight, our own power? What if we didn’t hand over the switch and power source to others? What if we decide that only we, and the universe, source, God of Our Heart, holds the spotlight? How would we shift?

I remember an intuitive reading session I had with a client not long ago. She was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Yet when she thought of leaving the pain was too deep. So she stayed.

As I looked layers deep, energetically I saw that when she imagined removing herself from the relationship, she disappeared into a black hole. That was the pain. It was as if having that relationship, that external spotlight, gave her life, form, existence.

And without it, there was no light, no definition, no existence. This made her stay. She wanted to exist, to belong, to have form, regardless of the price of pain in staying. Because one harmful external spotlight was worth no external spotlight at all.

When we define ourselves, when we act from our truth regardless of the external spotlight we start to validate ourselves and grow our self-awareness. We do not exist only when someone witnesses our existence. We exist fully while driving in our car alone, or walking down the street, while raising our children as a single parent, while having that amazing thought that we want to share with someone. While dancing in our living rooms just because we feel moved. We exist always and do not need someone to witness it for that to be true.

We are our own witness.

We exist because we do. But we start to shift our perception from viewing our life from behind our eyes to behind the eyes of others. How we are perceived and if we are fitting the mold, doing a good job under the external spotlight becomes our reality.

So how do we start to create this shift?

1. Notice where you are witnessing your life from.

Are you viewing your life from the corner of the room looking in as if your body is a character being maneuvered by a puppeteer? Controlled by the director and other actors on the stage?

Are you behind the eyes of your partner or boss or friend, trying to see their perception, ultimately losing your view of your life and yourself and trying to fit into what they need or want.

Are you above your body, floating, watching yourself react to different demands, energy and expectations from the external spotlights. Maybe throwing in a “good job” and “keep it up” message to yourself every now and again.

All of these are examples of not being engaged in your life. Not living your life. Just going through the motions set into play by others. But this is your life. Choose to be behind your eyes and view your life from that place where you can see most clearly and make decisions that are in alignment with your truth.

2. Create your own spotlight.

When you notice yourself wrapped up and consumed with other people’s thoughts, judgments, perceptions, simply ask yourself what your truth is about that topic.

Close your eyes and move your attention inward, meditate. Hold the intention to energetically notice what energies (thoughts, emotions, sensations) are dominat in your space, noticing what are yours and what thoughts are not yours.

Give time to connect with yourself and know your energy creating deeper self-awareness. Journaling is a very powerful way to get real with yourself. Start to get curious about you and ask yourself questions to learn more about how you view life, what you want to create, who you want surrounding you.

Imagine moving out of the external spotlight and into your internally fueled spotlight.

3. Use your senses.

See it, really see the internal bright white spotlight, or if you can’t see it with your mind’s eye, pretend it to be there. If you could see it what would it look like?

Feel what it feels like to shift from external validation to your internal validation. Imagine two light switches, one for the internal spotlight and one for external. Play with the switches. Notice how you feel with each one turned on and the difference in the two.

Know it. Just trust and know that it is there. Once you imagine anything, it exists on an energetic level.

Talk into in. Communicate with your light. Again getting curious, asking questions, sharing gratitude for it. It is a relationship with self and the source.

Nurture it.

We are powerful beings, each with a unique vibration, gift, view and purpose. It is our job to embrace this truth and live our truth with joy, peace, and purpose, unapologetically. As we make this shift internally the external ripple effect is exponential, creating more change and shift in the lives of others and ultimately on this planet. More than we can fathom.

Imagine if we each step into our own light, how bright this world would be.

Own it. Love it. And live life from that place.